I'm back! You know when you are pregnant and you feel towards the end like you can hardly identify with the swollen person that resembles you looking back at you in the mirror. You lose interest in many of the things that make up who you are. Your focus is entirely on what your next meal is going to be, the lack of sleep you are getting, and how you can see every crumb on each floor of your house.
9 weeks has passed since Talia has arrived. She is amazing and beautiful, a shining star that I cannot imagine my life without. She is the daughter that I have waited to have my entire life. I still daydream about all the mother/daughter things we will get to do as she grows. I love her.
But, I also love myself. I can say that with 100% honesty. I have missed feeling like myself. The person that is crazy about decorating each room is back. To be able to walk in a room and to vividly see it again, constructing what I want to change, thinking about colors and fabric makes me so happy. To be able to play with my kids on the floor or outside running and jumping. I can carry Alex again when he's sleepy and lazy, I wouldn't say with ease since he is 36 lbs but with much less effort. He is happy, I am happy. Smells no longer make me gag. Jeans button at my waist-even though there is still some work to be done on that. I can reconnect with my husband. I love him so much.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing but also very binding. I feel like I have broken free from that body and I am becoming whole again. Today, I feel like myself more than I have in awhile.
1 comments:
I'm glad you feel like "you" again. I for 1 missed you, although we could always still see that you were in there just a bit more tired, overwhelmed and lets face it I was much worse so you can feel good about that:) It has been so nice catching up with you and the kids again lately! can't wait for the next "play date" with or without the kids:)
Kami
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