Happiness Project

Check out the new book I am reading called The Happiness Project. Leslie has been talking about this book for 6+ months so I thought I would take her advice and try it out. I am pretty excited, it looks very cool!

Circumstance

2012 is an interesting year for me. The last 5 years have been a roller-coaster. We had many things happen that were unexpected, surprising,  even turbulent but we survived. In the grand scheme of things not anything that we couldn't handle but when you are in the moment you don't always realize that it may be a valuable lesson in hindsight. I am proud of the fact that we made it through infertility-yay Alex, unemployment, unsuccessful business ventures, jobs of desperation, completely unexpected baby-yay Talia, thoughts of will we get through this together? We did and we are here more intact than we have ever been. I no longer lay awake at night wondering how we are going to pay the pile of bills on my desk, when I go to bed I sleep, I do not toss and turn. Erik and I speak to each other like normal human beings every day. The house is not on the verge of crumbling down because I have not had time to put away 5 loads of laundry, do the dishes, or vacuum. My brain is getting enough activity that it isn't all dedicated to being a mom that I am satisfied. I am content. The only thing that shakes me a little bit is the guilt with being content.

When things seem to fall into place I tend to feel guilty.That maybe I don't deserve it. But this year is different. I feel like I have earned this stage of contentment and I am learning daily to be at peace with it. Does that mean that emotions still don't still run high when one of the kids are pushing me? No. Does it mean that Erik and I still don't have the battle over who is going to feed Talia at her 6 am wake up call? No. But now instead of it becoming something bigger than what it is. I just let it be. When you live in the moment life becomes more satisfying. With all the worries and heartache our family endured I think that I missed out on some of those moments because I was so distracted about the future. Unfortunately, we cannot control the future but we can control today.

One of my dearest friends called my a little while back. The conversation started out typical. She asked me,"How are you today?" I responded without really thinking about it."I am good." I paused for a minute and really thought about it. "Actually, I am great!" It was so empowering to stop, think, and state exactly what I was feeling and mean it. I lived in the moment and it felt AMAZING! Its like when you get in the car to go somewhere and by the time you arrive there you don't remember the drive. You have succumbed to autopilot. The drive is the most crucial part of the trip. You need to be engaged.

I am not speaking with rose colored glasses on. Life happens and I know we have many more things to battle in the future. My resolution for myself is to take it as it comes and enjoy the wins, learn any lesson I can from the losses. Since I was a young child I have felt a sense of responsibility to make sure that those around me are content and happy. This year is about teaching myself to do the same. Right now it feels pretty dang good.

It is okay

Lately I have been very thankful. Very aware of what is around me, who is around me-including those I have brought into this earth, and extremely grateful. I choose to be aware. I choose to voice it. Because too often than not we think it but don't act upon it or feel awkward thinking it but not saying it. If you are special to me I want you to know. If I care about you, it is important that I tell you. Is it selfish on my part? Maybe, but its true.

December 2011

Has flown by! This whole last month has. I picked up two marketing side projects plus work, Christmas programs, and a few Stella & Dot parties. Not to mention sickness trying to invade on every level around here, Erik also had hernia surgery so had been out of commission for the last week and a half recovering.

Here are some pictures from the last month, on my iPhone so not the best quality-can't say my phone has made me anymore organized.

Alex's school program at Trinity was ADORABLE, they did a great job! He wants a green dinosaur and Thomas the Tank Engine for Christmas-even though we just donated some that he put in the donate pile.

Loved his little jacket from Gap and plaid brown sneakers, looked like a little professor.

Anthony and I made Calamari, like my machete knife? I swear it does not look that big in person!

My office work party-I work remotely now but go in for fun days like this. Love those peeps! BUT miss getting downtown.

Here is Talia 5 months old. She has red hair-more ginger. The happiest baby ever. Never fusses unless she is hungry or has pooped-hates being messy. She hangs out and plays all day long. Talia is rolling over now, talks to everyone, and giggles like crazy.

Yep, he is still in love with her. 

Did I say we are all obsessed? But the good news is we are just as obsessed with her brothers and even though we are busy breaking up wrestling matches, making bottles, and fighting over who is getting up for the 5am feeding life is good!

To Do List

I need to get better organized. In my chaos I think I always have it figured out, well at least in my head. Turns out that I need some assistance. Too many work projects, kids activities, errands to run. My brain cannot shut it off so to help I have enlisted different things to help keep me organized. Starting from back to the basics with writing on a paper calendar when school began to adopting some excel spreadsheets this last month for keeping my work projects under control.

After going to Anaheim for work this last week for work I took along with me my loyal Droid that I have had for the last two years. Recently her face met concrete and she received an undeserved large crack. Although she was broken she was still  was still maintaining, that is until she was called "ghetto" from one of the nation's leading technology gurus at Mutt Lynch's. Amy convinced me to take the plunge and I bought an iPhone upon my return. Wow! That bad boys is AMAZING! I should have took that plunge a LONG time ago.

So this week I am going to coordinate my back to basics and technology to work in my favor. I plan to check off my to do list as fluidly as I can with my two little helpers by my side on Monday and Friday.

Do share, how the he double hockey sticks do you stay on top of your to do and task lists?

#7

Last night I was trying to get Anthony to focus on religious ed homework because he has First Reconciliation next week for the first time, for those of you that are not Catholic that simply means confession. But he could not focus, he was obsessed with getting his seventh wiggly tooth out. Hell or high water that baby was coming out. Thank goodness the tides went his way and it succumbed to his twisting, pulling, and poking. Anthony officially looks like he is from the Smoky Mountains or a jack-o-lantern, his thought.

So he prepped the tooth for the tooth fairy. Soaked it to get it nice and pretty with no germs on it, placed it on a crisp clean napkin for her to easily grab. A great place for him to wake up and see his reward for all of his hard work. He was pumped! Unfortunately the tooth fairy was working like a mad woman to get her house ready for her mother-in-law who will be staying watching over her children while she attends a tooth fairy conference in California Tues-Friday. She went to bed exhausted with Mr. Tooth Fairy and they both failed to wake for their shifts.

I wake up this morning, hear Talia fussing and coo herself back to sleep. Alex runs down to say good morning and matter of factly tell me that the tooth fairy never came to get Anthony's tooth. I literally sat straight up, threw on my robe and bounded upstairs. Grabbed Talia very nonchalantly and waltzed into Anthony's room. My expectation was I was going to find him devastated. But because of the time change his REM is a little confused and he is in that weird I am awake stage but drooling all over my pillow. I have time to fix this.

What can I do? How do I fix this? Last night Anthony made mention that this is his 7th tooth he has lost. Ding! Ding! Ding! I call the tooth fairy and tell her. She faxes me a note that says,"Since you are 7 and this is your 7th tooth I let you keep it this time." She let me know that she has $3.50 in change and to put in on the dining table by his backpack so when he gets ready for school he will find it. I am so grateful for her quick thinking. But then my printer jams so I have to write the note. What if he recognizes my writing? Oh man, I can hear them upstairs. He is about to walk in that kitchen looking for some Fruit Loops. I race upstairs with the note and my tooth fairy allowance. I made it! He's not up yet, thank you day light savings. I grab Talia's bottle and plop on the couch with her.

The boys come to the kitchen, all the way Alex is asking Anthony why the tooth fairy forgot him. I ask Anthony if he has everything for school. He says yes, I tell him to double check. "Mom, SHE DIDN'T FORGET ME!!!" No way! How much did she leave you? $3.50 and a peso??? I have heard she works internationally.

Halloween 2011