Ghosts all around me.

Fall is an interesting season. For me it brings layers of feelings. It is a very nostalgic season for me, for whatever reason I have many memories that are directly correlated with fall. More than any of the other 3 seasons, is that common? I love the smell of fall, I love the colors of fall-they tend to be the colors that I am the most attracted to, and I love how you can wear a dress with a cardigan, maybe a scarf, but can still wear open toe shoes if you want.

I love to start cooking home made meals come fall. This year I have already made chicken noodle soup from scratch and I just bought all the fixings for chili at the grocery store for this weeks menu. When I was unpacking my groceries I saw a theme of comfort fall foods-meatballs, caramel apples, and lots of soup.

Fall also makes me feel a feeling of emptiness. It tends to be the season that I am more sensitive to the losses in my life. I swear I can feel those that have left my life dance around me whether in the house or outside with the boys playing. It as if they are right there with me. Some days it is comforting to me and some days quite frankly it spooks me. Because it is not just the people that I feel but past memories that replay in my head that come out of no where that I don't always want to revisit.

Memories of football games, my first kiss, and my first heart break. Memories of having to start school again at a new school, its as if I can still feel the nerves that go along with having to walk into another new school and make friends with another group of people. The feeling of the unknown shows its weary head to me every fall and I can feel myself wanting to change something not for any good reason than that is how I have been programmed since I was a child.

I just had a light bulb moment and connected why I have those feelings-CRAZY! Because fall was a season that did land so much change in my life growing up. You just witnessed some serious blog therapy...wow!

To be continued...

More pictures and few updates on A&A

Anthony lost his second bottom tooth at school and proceeded to lose his top tooth the next day chomping on some taffy. He seriously looks like a jack-o-lantern or from Kentucky. One of the two for sure!

Check out Alex mowing with his dad. He LOVES to mow the grass and will walk completely in sync with Erik. It is so cute! I hope this love remains when he is a teenager...

Anthony playing his last soccer game of the season. It was October 10th and 80 degrees!

 I love watching him play sports. I am not the mom who sits back quietly...I am that mom, the one saying "hustle, defense, let's go guys!"

I LOVE Fall!

Alex isn't sure if he does...

These three definitely do!

Erik and Alex

Ava, Anthony, and Alli

I love these two having their own conversation.

Reminded me of the movie Twilight.

On the bridge at Pelican Rapids.

Can you tell? I really love fall. The colors, the smells, the memories. I love it all!

This past weekend we were busy with Kris's benefit on Friday-went really well. So good to see all of you and catch up. Wished it could have lasted the weekend!

Saturday we got up early and picked up the boys from my in-law's. We decided to go to Maplewood State Park by Pelican Rapids and go hiking. Check out the leaves and enjoy the colors. I am so glad we did because it was gorgeous! The sights were really pretty but the weather was simply AMAZING. It was so nice out. We had four kids under the age of 6 on a 2 mile hike with no whining. That was how nice it was!

Check it out for yourself...

I have the BEST pictures of these two since birth.

Alex did so well, at one point he sat down in the middle of a field and said "All done." My camera was done at that point but Brian has it on his-post worthy for sure!

Pelican Rapids

Maplewood

We will be visiting Maplewood again with the kids. There were no rides or cotton candy and they still woke up wanting to go back again on Sunday. Sometimes we forget to keep it simple.

3 wishes today...

1. Freedom

2. Money

3. Happiness

Not necessarily in that order, that is just how they came to me. I wish this for my friend Kris whose benefit is tomorrow. Unless you have been living under a rock I am sure you have heard of it. She is very blessed to have so many people take action in making this event happen. Of course we feel blessed to be part of her second chance. Cuz, you know most of the time we love her and cannot get enough of her. Tomorrow night will definitely be one of those nights so I hope she is prepared for all the hugs, tears, and enormous love coming her way. If you have been living under a rock click on "Kris's Benefit" up above and find out where the best party of Fargo-Moorhead is going to be tomorrow night. Come celebrate with us! I promise you will have a blast, if not hit me up for a drink and we can chat.