I am a summer widow

Summer is slowly but surely coming. With summer my husband begins to disappear with each new day. Not because he has a hot summer romance or a fascination with happy hours but because he is working like crazy. I classify it that I am now a "summer widow". He may not be a farmer but with his work he keeps the same hours. He is gone from before the sunrises and does not get home until well after dark (usually 9 or 10). The first week is the hardest. I am accustomed to having his help. I am accustomed to eating dinner with him. I am accustomed to a second pair of hands to help with the boys. The first week I almost get resentful to him which I know sounds completely absurd.

The second week I mourn his loss. I miss going to bed at the same time. The boys ask even more,"When is daddy coming home?' I do the dishes for the 19th time in 2 weeks and don't care any longer, the resentment is gone. I feel kind of like I have been left for some other saucy tart when the reality is he is spending all of his time with public utilities people, contractors, and workers. He is living off of gas station food and missing out on my grilling sensations. Sometimes he eats the plate I have for him when he gets home, sometimes he doesn't because he is plain exhausted. I feel bad that all he is eating is loaded with preservatives and sodium. I can tell his body is adjusting to the long hours but his back hurts, his feet throb, and he's exhausted. I completely relate.

By the third week I am in motion. The household has adjusted. The boys understand that daddy is at work but will be available to play on Friday-Sunday. I have my rhythm down with the cooking, cleaning, and homework. On Saturday morning he gets after the boys and I will jump into defend them. Almost becoming territorial. He will reprimand me that he is one of us meaning mommy and daddy, that I need to back him up. I sheepishly agree and back off. He leaves his clothes on the floor, I become eager to reprimand him. I cook, he doesn't eat, I storm downstairs angry at the world.

By the fourth week we have all adjusted. I am 100% accustomed to my summer widow status. He is accustomed to working 60+ hours a week plus having to contribute to the house by picking up his clothes and playing with the boys as much as he can. I am no longer resentful but respectful of all the work he is putting in. He reciprocates with the same appreciation realizing he has left me as a summer widow. Commending how good the house looks and how good my dinner was that he is now eating each night because he cannot stand gas station food any longer. We snuggle when we go to bed and talk about our days.

Right now we are going into week four. Looking forward to it. I am going to plant my Mother's Day hydrangeas and grill lots of good food. Rain or shine I need to feed him because the reality is I am  not a widow, just a summertime single mom with a hard working partner. I miss him when he is gone but really do appreciate him when he is home. Clothes on the floor or not.