Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Today my heart feels broken.
Today is just one of those days that I cannot snap out of it. I am so sad, my heart feels like it is broken. I keep trying to look at all the positives in my life but for some reason can balance each one out with a negative. It is quite honestly draining. I want my life back, the life where I was constantly busy working, closing deals, and living off the high of success. I lost a huge contract today. I am scared financially about the holidays and our current economy. I wonder what possessed me to start a business in the year that the economy is at an all time low since the depression. Hello? I am feeling guilty because today my kids, husband, etc. are just not enough for me. I am feeling guilty for writing this on my blog where others can read it. I am just too sad to get it together to call any of my girlfriends to make me feel better because right now that is just not enough. I held it in until Erik went to bed because I didn't want him to feel bad, now I can't quit crying. I am scared, sad, and lonely. So there I said it and do not actually feel any better. I just cannot look at the glass or girl half full today.
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6 comments:
Melissa,
You don't need to feel guilty about anything you are feeling. I'm pretty sure that all of us have felt that way at one time or another.
Starting a new business is terrifying - I know exactly how you feel.
Keep going, you are going to do great. When Kris and I were first deciding whether or not to take the plunge the biggest thing that helped was to ask ourselves the worst thing that could happen. We figured if we went under, yes it would be horribly disappointing and a financial strain, but we wouldn't end up living in our cars. We would have to get a different job, pay back the debt, and keep on going.
Give yourself time. The first year is always the scariest. We still panic on a daily basis. Hang in there - you are an amazing wife, woman, and mother. Don't doubt yourself!
Holly
Melissa, first and foremost, I am so proud of you for sharing your true feelings with your 'blog friends.' It's funny how we all share intimate details with each other...
I don't blame you for being scared. You are working your tail off and that's what matters. Stay strong, and know that I personally admire you for taking on such a challenging job!
You took a risk. That is what starting a new business is all about. We can not predict the economy at all. It would be nice if we could especially when you have a family to support. It will work out eventually. Unfortunately the time has to pass and that is difficult to wait and be patient. You will have your good and bad days. The bad days will hit you the hardest. It is okay to feel the way you are feeling. You can get through it. You always have been strong. You have your Guardian Angels watching over you. You know who I am talking about. Just hold on as tight as you can this ride might not be the one you want, but you can do it.
faith
Keep your chin up - there are so many ups and downs with owning a biz - the last 3 years Brad and I have learned when those trends tend to hit and plan accordingly while trying to ride on top of the waves. Keep lots of notes your first few years so you can track the good/bad, what has worked/what hasn't, etc. I totally can relate to your feelings - I've had many meltdowns. We'll keep you in our prayers and look forward to seeing you over Turkey Day! Amy
I love you!
I agree with all of the above posts keep your chin up, you will succeed in whatever you do, and the money will just seem to come it always does and I don't know how-trust me! Life throws us many curve balls, but god never gives us more than we can handle-I truly believe that which goes to show just how strong you really are, even if you need to be carried right now. We are all here to be whatever you need us to be right now, sounding board, shoulder to cry on, bear hug giver-whatever!
Love you,
Kami
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