What does social solidarity mean to you?

Social solidarity refers to the integration, and degree and type of integration, shown by a society or group with people and their neighbors. It refers to the ties in a society - social relations - that bind people to one another according to Wikipedia.

In life we never intentionally set out to hurt others or make them feel bad. I think most people are rational, decent human beings who strive to do the good thing. To not be righteous but just overall good examples to our children and peers. To be honest in tough situations, to not turn a blind eye when we feel uneasy, and to do right by others.

Then can anyone fill me in why I am so frustrated with my husband for not filling me on that fact that he has been chewing tobacco the last 6 months without my knowledge? This may sound trivial to you but this is how the story goes.

So we are at a housewarming party on Saturday night. My husband and a close friend who by the way are very mature start to wrestle. I begin to take the wife stance- okay boys how old are we? I look over and see something round in my husband’s sock? I take off like a gazelle (we all know I am naturally graceful) because I have seen that shape before. It was the shape in my husband’s jeans when he chewed BEFORE we were married 8 years ago. He quit for my wedding present.

I think Erik's heart may have fallen out of his chest when he turned around and saw me with it in my hand. His buddies were all trying to help him out and confirm to me that they know this has not been a habit for long time. Erik told me he started again when he transitioned jobs. So his friends were definitely his "social solidarity" for the evening but his wife felt cheated by many in the society who knew before her that her husband had picked up an ugly habit that she didn't know about.

Needless to say my dear husband must feel like he is in solitary confinement with a wife that will not quit second guessing him and I can GUARANTEE this will not happen again. Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice kind sir and shame on you!

No BS...

So I am not always "appropriate" in my posts. I certainly would not classify my posts as raunchy but you will always find the good, the bad, and the ugly here. Blogs that suck me in have an edge to them. A sense of off the cuff honesty. There is no primping, no concern that what they maybe posting could be offensive to others (truly I do not like posts that are crude or obnoxious though). You may find a banana hammock in one of my posts but you are going to also find pictures of my kids, events of our everyday life, and the many reasons I either love or hate my husband depending on the day. The good usually always outweighs the bad.

I think blogging is a direct representation of free speech in its finest form today. You now have access to a channel that others before us have not had. Many mothers, wives, and daughters only shared their secrets with their personal diaries. They most certainly would not by any means share their stories to a mass audience. It can be a double edged sword, especially if you are one of us that shares it all. I think when you have a blog we all struggle with what is deemed appropriate and what is too much information. I tend to lean to too much information.

Do we tell about how we wanted to kick our husbands a** today or how he cooked an amazing dinner? Do we speak about how we felt bad for our son because he was home sick from school today or how we hoped he might just be able to shake it off because there only is two days of school this week? Do we talk about how we are freaking out over the expense of Christmas or do we just talk about how we cannot believe how Christmas has came up so fast this year?

In any situation there always the debate on whether the glass is half full or empty. I naturally go towards the half full but if I feel the need to share why the glass is looking pretty empty one day I should not feel guilty. Since we do have this channel available to us it is our responsibility to use it as we see fit.

People clearly blog for different reasons. Whether it is for sanity, there dedication to the Lord, or a child that is sick. Whether it is to give shopping tips, a portal for you to recover from an accident, a place to record all of your childrens milestones. Whatever your reason is for blogging really doesn't matter, just keep doing it if it feels right. Share what you want, keep private what you want. Just know that I am here to support you no matter what you want to share. Banana hammocks and all...

Anthony's First Day of Basketball

So today is Anthony's first day of basketball at the YMCA. Basketball is personally my favorite sport. Some of my favorite memories growing up were playing hours of ball with my dad outside of our rust colored house. I am talking HOURS! I played point guard and believe it or not usually always started. I played until 8th grade. My last year was in junior high at Perham. Once we moved to Moorhead I realized I was out of my league at try outs and quit, the girls were a lot bigger and more competitive. Unfortunately I was able to find other extra-curricular activities to stay busy with. But I have always regretted not trying a little harder and playing at Moorhead because the love of basketball has never left me. It seems to be a sport that Anthony is really into too and that makes me really happy. I think that my dad takes a little pride in that too. He was a basketball player through high school and is a ref still. It drove me nuts when he was the ref at my games.

So I hope Anthony has a great first day and is ready to play ball with his mom when gets home.

No judging!

So last night the girls from work dragged me kicking and screaming to an amateur night of the male review at a gentleman's club in town. I have not laughed that hard in a long time. My favorite of the evening was in tribute to the guy from Juno. One of my  favorite movies. It really was harmless fun because they do not show anything and there was only one banana hammock. My expectations were very low going into it because let’s face it we are talking guys from the FM area. Slim pickings! But it turns out that I clearly have not been in the single mode because I was impressed by the guys. They were creative and only one or two I would classify as sleazy. I kid you not there was one guy performing ballet, who by the way was covered in hair. Pirouettes and all!


I was a good girl and was home early. By ten I had about as much as I could take. But it was definitely a memorable night and a great experience to have with my female co-workers. The guys have been probing us all morning with questions because I think they secretly fantasize about doing high kicks with a crowd of screaming, crazy ladies throwing dollars at them.

The sweet smell of bleach...

So yesterday I got home, opened the front door, and was greeted by the sweet smell of bleach. Bleach that I had not opened. I stepped on a clean rug that I had not vacuumed. I walked up the stairs and smelled a dinner being cooked that I was not cooking. I was greeted by a happy toddler who I did not have to pick up from daycare. I was greeted by a 5 year old doing his homework who I had not directed. I literally could have probably eaten my husband I was so grateful.

Erik was done with work early yesterday so he proceeded to clean out our entry way closet which is an accomplishment in itself. I am amazed we have not lost on of our children in that thing. Put all our shoes on a shoe rack. Hung up all of our 50+ coats. Organized all of the winter gear that we are slowly starting to wear and lose on a regular basis. Scrubbed the floor and vacuumed the rug.
So yesterday was a good day.

Suggestions

Alright ladies, I have decided that the blog templates are fine. They do have some cute ones that are available for free. Let’s face it the cheaper the better but since I have also found that I am starting to have a love for graphic design (p.s. who would have ever thought that one was going to happen) I want to change my blog to match my personality. So I have googled blog background builders etc but have no idea who is actually reputable or full of bs. Basically what I am looking for is to have the ability to upload whatever content I want-preferably a 3 column blog, make all my pictures look like Ria's (btw I wish), and have it look visually appealing at a minimal cost. So who do you know? What programs do you know of or use? What blogs do you read that are informative? I am an information seeking blogger. Got any?

Scars

This morning Anthony came crawling in at 5:30 or so because he was seeing scary monster faces in his room and he was scared. The scary monster faces has been the latest ploy to come crawl in with us. I am not the mom that insists they go back to there bed right now. Because I secretly love it when he crawls in with us. Granted I may not when he is 16 but right now at 5 I do like it most of the time. So we fall back asleep for an hour until Erik's alarm clock annoyingly wakes us up, well at least me.

Anthony and I were spooning so his back was to me. Anthony is a very warm sleeper so by morning he has usually peeled off his pajamas (if he even started with any) and sleeps in his little boxer briefs. Which by the way may just be the cutest invention in little boy clothing. The whole point of this is that I because of all this I saw his bee sting scar on his back. His little perfect round pink scar. It got me thinking about scars. How on our children when we look at them it is almost a road map of life's events. That we know every story behind each scar. That even after our children have moved on from it we can tell the story of how it happened from beginning to end.

Then it got me really thinking about the scars that we don't get to see because they are internalized. The yucky emotional, quiet suffering, scars that we all keep to ourselves on some level. You wish for your children that they never feel any pain and hope you are able to protect them on every level. Unfortunately this is simply not realistic.

Our job as parents is to encourage our children, teach our children, and help heal the scars they decide to share with us. To kiss their bee stings, bandage their knees, and let them cry it out. To be their sounding board and to tell them sometimes you have to just shake it off. In doing that we also have to lead by example. Prove that we can overcome our fears and anger. Show them that we are able to add new scars to our road map without it having lifelong effects.

After all the goal is to be the change you wish to see in the world, starting with our own.