This morning Anthony came crawling in at 5:30 or so because he was seeing scary monster faces in his room and he was scared. The scary monster faces has been the latest ploy to come crawl in with us. I am not the mom that insists they go back to there bed right now. Because I secretly love it when he crawls in with us. Granted I may not when he is 16 but right now at 5 I do like it most of the time. So we fall back asleep for an hour until Erik's alarm clock annoyingly wakes us up, well at least me.
Anthony and I were spooning so his back was to me. Anthony is a very warm sleeper so by morning he has usually peeled off his pajamas (if he even started with any) and sleeps in his little boxer briefs. Which by the way may just be the cutest invention in little boy clothing. The whole point of this is that I because of all this I saw his bee sting scar on his back. His little perfect round pink scar. It got me thinking about scars. How on our children when we look at them it is almost a road map of life's events. That we know every story behind each scar. That even after our children have moved on from it we can tell the story of how it happened from beginning to end.
Then it got me really thinking about the scars that we don't get to see because they are internalized. The yucky emotional, quiet suffering, scars that we all keep to ourselves on some level. You wish for your children that they never feel any pain and hope you are able to protect them on every level. Unfortunately this is simply not realistic.
Our job as parents is to encourage our children, teach our children, and help heal the scars they decide to share with us. To kiss their bee stings, bandage their knees, and let them cry it out. To be their sounding board and to tell them sometimes you have to just shake it off. In doing that we also have to lead by example. Prove that we can overcome our fears and anger. Show them that we are able to add new scars to our road map without it having lifelong effects.
After all the goal is to be the change you wish to see in the world, starting with our own.
6 comments:
Lots of layers here... lots of depth. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Blessings-
Amanda
Very good post Melissa. It is true that a mother/father does have the most insight of a person's life rather you like it or not!
Thanks,
Kami
Heavy...made me wonder what emotional scars I've contributed to, vs. those I have sought to heal.
I've been really struggling with this and the 'internal scars' that I've been worried that changing to a new daycare have left on my little girl ~ this parenting is rough stuff some days!
Agreed-I think it is ironic that as you grow older all of the cliches your parents told you become relevant.
Seriously...Lucy "cried it out" for 1 hour and 29 minutes in the middle of the night last week. I spent the entire time worrying that i was leaving a lasting "scar". Then morning came and she was happy as ever to see me! Why is being a mommy so hard?
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