Social solidarity refers to the integration, and degree and type of integration, shown by a society or group with people and their neighbors. It refers to the ties in a society - social relations - that bind people to one another according to Wikipedia.
In life we never intentionally set out to hurt others or make them feel bad. I think most people are rational, decent human beings who strive to do the good thing. To not be righteous but just overall good examples to our children and peers. To be honest in tough situations, to not turn a blind eye when we feel uneasy, and to do right by others.
Then can anyone fill me in why I am so frustrated with my husband for not filling me on that fact that he has been chewing tobacco the last 6 months without my knowledge? This may sound trivial to you but this is how the story goes.
So we are at a housewarming party on Saturday night. My husband and a close friend who by the way are very mature start to wrestle. I begin to take the wife stance- okay boys how old are we? I look over and see something round in my husband’s sock? I take off like a gazelle (we all know I am naturally graceful) because I have seen that shape before. It was the shape in my husband’s jeans when he chewed BEFORE we were married 8 years ago. He quit for my wedding present.
I think Erik's heart may have fallen out of his chest when he turned around and saw me with it in my hand. His buddies were all trying to help him out and confirm to me that they know this has not been a habit for long time. Erik told me he started again when he transitioned jobs. So his friends were definitely his "social solidarity" for the evening but his wife felt cheated by many in the society who knew before her that her husband had picked up an ugly habit that she didn't know about.
Needless to say my dear husband must feel like he is in solitary confinement with a wife that will not quit second guessing him and I can GUARANTEE this will not happen again. Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice kind sir and shame on you!
8 comments:
Hey. IF that happened to me I would be ticked off.
Take it in stride though.
Just sayin.
Blessings-
Amanda
I've been in your boat, trust is a terrible thing to break and regain...good luck!
Kami
Well Melissa, I have found out that Thad has been chewing regularly too. I don't like it, but in all honesty, I have no time to do much about it. He doesn't do it around me, so it must be a work thing.
It bugs me too though...hang in there.
PS: My husband left town today without even so much as saying goodbye when he left the house.
ugh. He didn't?
I know how it feels to be the last one to know - when you SHOULD have been the first, and it sucks.
I'm not sticking up for him here, because what he did was wrong - but my best guess is that he was trying to protect you by not telling you - (or is it protect himself! HA!)
I know this is no consolation - but there are worse things - that's what I tell myself when I have really crummy things happen to me...regardless of what they are!
xoxo
Boys are dumb sometimes...sorry you're dealing with this. I'm sure he feels like a total jerk if that's any consulation. Trust me, it could be MUCH worse. :)
Why does it bother you? (I mean, him chewing)
I was on Bill's case - like it was my job - when I was pregnant because I didn't think it was fair that I couldn't even have a fully loaded cup of coffee and he was sittin' there with his stupid mouth full of chew every time I turned around.
What finally got through to him was when I went to my aunt's dentist office and out of the 4 people who were working - they knew of 1 guy who had 1/2 his jaw removed (the assistant's uncle) and 1 guy who died of stomache complications (the receptionist's brother). Pretty ugly odds and he quit a week later.
It bothers me because I think it is the grossest habit. YUCK! It gets in there teeth-super classy, it makes his breath smell, and I do not want it around the boys so they think it is cool. He obviously never does it around me but I still CANNOT STAND IT!
I'm with ya Melissa... I think it is so gross and stupid and weak. And I have had EXACTLY the same thing happen to me... my husband start chewing again for months and months before I found the can. To some people it is not a big deal, but to me it was a betrayal. I just don't get why guys do it AT ALL.
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